Adam Regelmann (MD-PhD) bypassed a career in gastroenterology to co-found Quartzy. He also eschewed a highly lucrative songwriting career, as evidenced by this pipette-tapping ditty Adam (aka Dr. Dre-gelmann) penned with his brother (David Regelmann, MD) in 2010. Mr. Pipette Man was slated to be the first single off their debut album, Boyz-n-the-Fume Hood, but the original track was dissolved in a hydrofluoric acid accident. It was recently miraculously repaired and remastered for your lab's listening pleasure.
Original music and arrangement by David Joseph Regelmann, MD
Lyrics
My undergrad days came and went
Struggling to find my way
Hot summer and my sweat’s lament
Friends mingle at a chic soiree
My spongiform mind growing fungus
Late nights with ramen for one
The force of our bond was humungous
Then you left when things got fun
I’ll never forget how it all began
It’s you I love, Mr. Pipette Man
A world of volume fits snugly in my hand
It’s you I love, Mr. Pipette Man
Picked myself up to start my new job
Where I met you, ready to prime
My yearning heart started to throb
My cofactor to your enzyme
Whether Gilson, Eppendorf or Rainin
Our time together is ecstasy
I was adrift in the sea of my chagrin
You brought me to the port of accuracy
And when it comes down to people or plastic
I know some might think my decision is drastic
But with you I find I can study the liver
And when you eject my periportal zone quivers
And you’re so refined when I bring you to parties
And back to the lab to dispense antibodies
Back again to the party, mixing drinks to perfection
All your versatile ways, there’s no room for objection
From 2 to 1,000 microliters you span
It’s you I love, Mr. Pipette Man
I spin your dial, just ‘cause I can
It’s you I love, Mr. Pipette Man
It’s you I love, Mr. Pipette Man
It’s you I love, Mr. Pipette Man
Quartzy is the world’s No. 1 lab management platform. We help scientists easily organize orders, manage inventory, and save money. We’re free and always will be. Visit Quartzy.com or reach out at info@quartzy.com.
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